It is utterly amazing to me how one can change so dramatically in so quick a time. One week ago I was tenuous and telling you Father how desperate I was and how I found it so hard to be what you want me to be. Not that I've arrived, but my whole attitude, spirit and will are different. Aren't we just such fickle people? I really don't understand myself most of the time. But regardless, I am at a wonderful place right now. I don't know what tomorrow holds or even how I'll be tomorrow, but today, I'm with you.
Father, my God! How wonderful you are. your power of influence and conviction is beyond anyone. The way you change hearts and convict is beyond belief. If it were not for my own experience, I would be credulous. Your sweep of ownership extends infinitely. There was no beginning for you. There is no end. Man and creation may try to best you, reduce you, control you, but it cannot be done. We are nothing but small-minded nothings thinking we're intelligent and powerful. But only what you allow.
My God! With all of this, to be able to call you my Father is beyond amazing. You are God! And that's just the way it is. Thank you Father for what you have done in my life. How you have grown me to be the man you desire for me. To undo what life and bad experiences have done to me. Thank you for the Word through the Bible. The power of it has to change people. Thank you for these stories of real people and real events and your leading in their lives, whether they knew it or not. Thank you for showing us how we live, still today, and what can be expected from it, good or bad. Thank you for showing us how involved you are in all aspects of life, regardless of our acknowledgment. Thank you for showing that man has no control over you and in this world you win, and we think we have such power and control.
I say it this way because in everything, in your world, there is no battle, winner, loser. There is only you and everything is powered by you. It is how things are and life, ways of life, are like you and powered by you in complete freedom. There is no comparison of anything else. This "way", your way, can begin on this earth, surely with spits and starts, but it can. It is your kingdom on this earth. We live here, becoming increasingly more like you and living in your world and being in your world and little by little being more comfortable with it. Of course we rebel almost all the time. But you know, it doesn't matter. We're the ones who suffer and have a hard life. You don't change. It is totally our choice. Oh, how stupid we are. The one thing that will never, ever change and is all powerful, we think we have some say so over it. The only choice we make is to decide whether we want to do it your way or not. And if we don't, we're always the one to suffer for it. Always!
We are transported from this earthbound world to your Spirit world when You are acknowledged. This acknowledgment is the key to opening that door into your Spirit world. The permission to walk through that door is the death, blood and resurrection of the man Jesus the Christ. Your entire being formed into this man. You provided the key. You are the key. You provided it yourself. It is your invitation to join you in your Spirit world. That alone is the real world, infinitely. Always was and always will be. Another dimension into which we can enter by accepting the invitation of Jesus the Christ, who paid the entrance fee. All else here on earth is a distraction from your world. Satan set it up to rob you of me and all others from you, if we don't choose you over him.
All is going according to your plan. When you look at this eternal life that is all around me, what really do you have to lose by being counter-world? Nothing! It's already lost. I don't live in it any more. Only my body is here. My soul and spirit have already entered into your eternal world, the other dimension, the real dimension. This earth is really an add on, created out of love by you for man's enjoyment. Because purity is all that can be tolerated by you and can live in the true eternal dimension, man had to be free to choose when presented with an option. We could not be coerced or without choice. That would not be pure. That is why we really don't need to be so focused on Satan in our lives. We have already been freed from him. We are pure, because we made the choice, not by anything we have done, but by what you have done. We just have to choose you and believe.
From a spiritual, eternal God dimension, absolutely nothing will happen to us. It is only earthly, human results of our sin and yielding to the temptations of Satan. I do not need to be afraid. Satan cannot touch me. You cover and protect me if I'll let you on earth. My dwelling place is not here. I live, already live, with you in your infinite eternal dimension, home! I'm just confined and bound in this flesh body and constrained by the limitations of earth. That is why you have grace extended. This is temporary. It is your way of saying, "Don't worry, you're with me in my dimension, living with me for eternity. You're already here! Your soul, your spirit are mine right now. So don't get so hung up by failures on that earth. You are only there for a short period. Continue transforming into my world, my dimension, my way. You'll be so much better off."
"And then when your body dies, you won't be bound any more. Your life will blossom into what I longed for all along. But understand, you are here with me now! That is so important for you to believe and understand. Because of that, you won't worry about things on earth, just accept them and move on. Its only temporary. Who really cares? As long as you continually take on my life and learn how to live in my dimension, eternity, you won't have any problems. I'll take care of everything. I do now. I am God! I rule eternity."
"You live in my world today with me, because Jesus the Christ paid your admission fee. And when he offered it to you, you accepted it. Have fun, enjoy your life, continue to learn how to live in my dimension, because it is really the only one. All else is fake. I'll teach you, show you the ropes, and even change you as you live. This is your world. Welcome to it!" John 6:61-64a; 16:33
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Intimacy of God with Me
Chapters 28-31 of I Samuel in the Bible are classic examples of events unfolding on the earth, everyday, intimate events and people not knowing why and seeing inequities, being frustrated, fearful and not know you Father are directing it the whole time. What a lesson I need to learn. It is so hard. I wonder if there is a reason why I read what I did this morning, possibly? But overall I have to trust you that you are in control of not only my life, but all events of the world, great and small.
Father, it is still hard on me to not be disappointed and fearful. So hard. But I am getting better. You give. You take away. You raise people up. You take them down. You control everything. Nothing happens that you aren't aware of. You know everything about me to how many hairs are on my head (now for me that may not be hard). A bird doesn't fall from the sky that you don't know about it. How intimate and involved is that?
Father, you know how I need income. You know I can't afford to keep this house after a period of time. You know it would be really hard to sell it at this time. So I have to trust you. Strengthen me Father. Give me a strong, solid, firm foundation of faith and trust. Not wavering. Not turning to you in time of need, but a continuous trust in my life.
I don't want to be a person who turns to you. I want you to be ever-present in my life with a free, smooth-flowing dependence on you. No different in time of need than in time of plenty. My reliance and relationship should be the same. Even when I say I "turn" to you, that implies I wasn't going in your direction, or you aren't in me as one. And I don't want that.
David is a great example: David and his men returned to their city after losing an intense battle with many dead, being disappointed and frustrated with what they thought was doing the right thing and doing what they do best. Upon return, their city had been burned, destroyed, all their wealth gone, and their families captured and gone as well. They were in intense emotional pain. The Bible says "...David and his men burst out in loud wails...wept and wept until they were exhausted with weeping...Suddenly David was in even worse trouble..There was talk among the men, bitter over the loss of their families, of stoning him...David strengthened himself with trust in his God...David prayed to God, 'Shall I go after these raiders? Can I catch them?'...The answer came!"
What? Wait a minute! Now, wait a minute Father! This is huge for me! This is a no-brainer. Of course you go after them. Why in the world would one ever stop and ask that question of you Father? But he did! He stopped and talked to you about it! Amazing! Why? Why stop and ask you? Huge lesson! David didn't turn to you--it just says, "David strengthened himself." And he did this by having a conversation with you.
I am amazed at the level of intimacy David had with you. Even after failing at leadership, seeing men he loved and for which he had responsibility killed because of his decision. After seeing his city destroyed because of what he believed to be the right thing to do. After losing his family and all the men in his charge experiencing this intense loss as well, he asked you if he should go after the marauders, the enemy, and will he catch them. It flowed. It wasn't an emotional battle and difficult. It was just like breathing. Your answer, your input, your guidance, your strength was his first thought. I am amazed at this level of intimacy with you. You truly were in his life and his life was in yours. I am amazed. Oh Father, how I want that level of intimacy with you.
Father, it is still hard on me to not be disappointed and fearful. So hard. But I am getting better. You give. You take away. You raise people up. You take them down. You control everything. Nothing happens that you aren't aware of. You know everything about me to how many hairs are on my head (now for me that may not be hard). A bird doesn't fall from the sky that you don't know about it. How intimate and involved is that?
Father, you know how I need income. You know I can't afford to keep this house after a period of time. You know it would be really hard to sell it at this time. So I have to trust you. Strengthen me Father. Give me a strong, solid, firm foundation of faith and trust. Not wavering. Not turning to you in time of need, but a continuous trust in my life.
I don't want to be a person who turns to you. I want you to be ever-present in my life with a free, smooth-flowing dependence on you. No different in time of need than in time of plenty. My reliance and relationship should be the same. Even when I say I "turn" to you, that implies I wasn't going in your direction, or you aren't in me as one. And I don't want that.
David is a great example: David and his men returned to their city after losing an intense battle with many dead, being disappointed and frustrated with what they thought was doing the right thing and doing what they do best. Upon return, their city had been burned, destroyed, all their wealth gone, and their families captured and gone as well. They were in intense emotional pain. The Bible says "...David and his men burst out in loud wails...wept and wept until they were exhausted with weeping...Suddenly David was in even worse trouble..There was talk among the men, bitter over the loss of their families, of stoning him...David strengthened himself with trust in his God...David prayed to God, 'Shall I go after these raiders? Can I catch them?'...The answer came!"
What? Wait a minute! Now, wait a minute Father! This is huge for me! This is a no-brainer. Of course you go after them. Why in the world would one ever stop and ask that question of you Father? But he did! He stopped and talked to you about it! Amazing! Why? Why stop and ask you? Huge lesson! David didn't turn to you--it just says, "David strengthened himself." And he did this by having a conversation with you.
I am amazed at the level of intimacy David had with you. Even after failing at leadership, seeing men he loved and for which he had responsibility killed because of his decision. After seeing his city destroyed because of what he believed to be the right thing to do. After losing his family and all the men in his charge experiencing this intense loss as well, he asked you if he should go after the marauders, the enemy, and will he catch them. It flowed. It wasn't an emotional battle and difficult. It was just like breathing. Your answer, your input, your guidance, your strength was his first thought. I am amazed at this level of intimacy with you. You truly were in his life and his life was in yours. I am amazed. Oh Father, how I want that level of intimacy with you.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
God's World
Coming back to the present for just a bit. I had to get this down because it just keeps nagging me and I mean that in an exceptionally good way. I awoke this morning about 4:30 a.m. and knew there just was no more sleep in me. I came into the library and began reading the Bible from The Message. I read the book of Ruth and then read the introduction to 1 Samuel. I love Eugene Peterson's introductions to the books in the Bible. I get so much insight from them. Well, in his introduction to 1 Samuel it really spoke to me, because it was just where my thoughts and heart were last night, again. I think God is speaking to me and trying really hard to get my attention on this matter. It just keeps recurring at different times and in different situations.
Here are the statements Peterson makes that really spoke to my mind and my heart:
The question keeps coming back to me, "Why would I do all the things God asks or commands me to do? It can't be just to do the right thing, although that is good in a smaller context. But ultimately, it is really larger than that. God's world, spirit, is where the truth is. Even saying that limits it. In God's world there is no truth. By saying truth it lays out that there must be false. And that is not in God's world. We only have to set this truth/false concept up and do this in our world (human).
God wants me to live in that world, his world. Transcend human, so to speak, and live there, spirit. That's what Jesus did. Humanness was an encumbrance and a limitation. It was and is a prevention or deterrent to truly living in God's world. But nonetheless a world in which God wants me to live. All the revelation, stories and instruction in the Bible are to get me there.
This realization is the 'transforming' that Paul talks about. It's not just changing our lives so we can live better in this world. In fact we are told the opposite. The more we transform our lives into God's spirit world, the harder it will be on us in this world. But, the more peaceful and settled we will be in our heart, because our hearts will be less at war with God and the spirit.
The transforming of our lives is transcending us out of the human world and more into God's spirit world where he wants me to be. That transformation is the key to unlocking the doors and allowing us in, incrementally, little by little, to God's world, the true world and the eternal world. This is where we are headed ultimately, because of Jesus' work on the cross, his resurrection and our acceptance of it. But God doesn't want to wait for that. He wants us to transformationally move more to his world in our living each day until our bodies die or Jesus comes again.
Oh my, how that gives meaning to our lives as we live on this earth, encumbered and limited by humanness. Romans 12:1-2 is the complete explanation of this. Two short verses that explain completely what God is all about, once we accept Jesus' work for us. This is huge for me. I mean huge. It is the answer for all time about God's relationship to those who accept his Son's work on this earth for us. The only answer.
I must, repeat must, look at God in this way. My perspective must be that of Christ: eternal, spiritual, his world looking into ours, not ours looking into God's. That will dramatically change my life.
Here are the statements Peterson makes that really spoke to my mind and my heart:
- We don't have to fit into prefabricated moral or mental or religious boxes before we are admitted into the company of God--we are taken seriously just as we are and given a place in his story, for it is, after all, his story.
- None of us is the leading character in the story of life.
- The biblical way is not so much to present a moral code and tell us "Live up to this...Think like this and you will live well."
- The biblical way is to tell a story and invite us, "Live into this. This is what it looks like to be human...This is what is involved in entering and maturing as human beings."
- We do violence to the biblical revelation when we use it for what we can get out of it or what we think will provide color and spice to our otherwise bland lives.
- That results in a kind of "boutique spirituality"--God as decoration, God as enhancement.
- ...we are not being led to see God in our stories, but to see our stories in God's.
- God is the larger context and plot in which our stories find themselves.
The question keeps coming back to me, "Why would I do all the things God asks or commands me to do? It can't be just to do the right thing, although that is good in a smaller context. But ultimately, it is really larger than that. God's world, spirit, is where the truth is. Even saying that limits it. In God's world there is no truth. By saying truth it lays out that there must be false. And that is not in God's world. We only have to set this truth/false concept up and do this in our world (human).
God wants me to live in that world, his world. Transcend human, so to speak, and live there, spirit. That's what Jesus did. Humanness was an encumbrance and a limitation. It was and is a prevention or deterrent to truly living in God's world. But nonetheless a world in which God wants me to live. All the revelation, stories and instruction in the Bible are to get me there.
This realization is the 'transforming' that Paul talks about. It's not just changing our lives so we can live better in this world. In fact we are told the opposite. The more we transform our lives into God's spirit world, the harder it will be on us in this world. But, the more peaceful and settled we will be in our heart, because our hearts will be less at war with God and the spirit.
The transforming of our lives is transcending us out of the human world and more into God's spirit world where he wants me to be. That transformation is the key to unlocking the doors and allowing us in, incrementally, little by little, to God's world, the true world and the eternal world. This is where we are headed ultimately, because of Jesus' work on the cross, his resurrection and our acceptance of it. But God doesn't want to wait for that. He wants us to transformationally move more to his world in our living each day until our bodies die or Jesus comes again.
Oh my, how that gives meaning to our lives as we live on this earth, encumbered and limited by humanness. Romans 12:1-2 is the complete explanation of this. Two short verses that explain completely what God is all about, once we accept Jesus' work for us. This is huge for me. I mean huge. It is the answer for all time about God's relationship to those who accept his Son's work on this earth for us. The only answer.
I must, repeat must, look at God in this way. My perspective must be that of Christ: eternal, spiritual, his world looking into ours, not ours looking into God's. That will dramatically change my life.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Living in Past/Fear of Future
I am reading the 18th chapter of I Samuel about the beginning of Saul's madness and the relationship between David and Jonathan. Father, the thought came to me again that I live too much in the past and future. While thinking and focusing on the bad things that happened to me in the past and fear of the future, I am missing out on the joy of the present. The thought just came to me that if I knew I had an income in the future, I could be happy and enjoy the present. How that is NOT like what you want me to be. Enjoy the present and let you take care of the future.
I am now in Chapter 20 and the thought just came to me that no where do we see David's thoughts and feelings about Saul's trying to repeatedly kill him and the stress and fear of living under these horrible situations. Then there is a paragraph after David escaped his house to keep Saul's men from killing him. It says: "David made good his escape and went to Samuel at Ramah and told him everything Saul had done to him. Then he and Samuel withdrew to the privacy of Naioth."
So David finally reached out to the man who was his spiritual father. One he could trust and knew was wise. He opened up and told Samuel everything. I'm sure it had to be painfully emotional and intense. I'm sure all the fear, frustration, not understanding and anger came pouring out. He may have even been told things by Samuel that he just didn't want to hear or agree with. Then Samuel and David got off to themselves in private to talk, and again I'm sure, to pray to God. A time of openness, emotion, honesty and seeking God's answer by themselves in private. How wonderful to have that older, wiser mentor. We all need one. God will provide.
Later in chapter 20 is where Jonathan and David are designing a scheme as a sign for David to run, because Saul is truly trying and plotting to kill him (David). Even in all the mayhem, fear for life, anxiety, stress, confusion and frustration, Jonathan tells and reminds David, "Regarding all the things we've discussed, remember that God's in on this with us to the very end." A reminder to me Father. In all that's going on in my life right now, you are in this, and participating or leading it to the very end. Pretty amazing!
I am now reading Chip Ingram's book again, "Good to Great In God's Eyes!" A thought just came to me about Ingram's method of identifying a few people in which to invest my life. When I talk to people about working with them, I need to reveal to them who I truly am on the inside, not just my credentials, but my heart. I know you've said this may be foolishness to them, but that is who I am. I can use Ingram's method to explain myself to them. Faithful Available Teachable. Please show me how to do this Father. Give me insight and clarity. Guide my every word coming from my heart.
Another thought--now, right now, I have an opportunity for you to talk to me, prepare me, season me, mature me, ready me for what you want to accomplish later in my life. Whatever that is. I don't have the pressure of a daily business. I have time. I have money enough to pay our expenses. A great time for you to prepare and teach me. I need to allow that, emotionally, and stop trying to bring it to an end by getting employment. This is, and has been, a rich experience, while at the same time frustrating and fearful. But it is so obvious to me you are "in on this with us to the very end." Step back Robert, relax, let God free in your life and trust and enjoy!
You know what Father? I just recalled, I have had a dream all my adult life. Help people! Impact their lives. Be used by you to have a powerful impact on people's lives. Not indirectly, but directly. Be in a position where I could impart to them "stuff" from you, from life experiences, personal insights to impact their lives. I have wanted that in my career, business, working at church, everywhere. I admit my motivation may not be totally pure, but not all together wrong. I want to impact people's lives greatly, directly and as part of it through their minds. That is my dream. I believe that the most opportune place is in a teaching/mentoring setting. I still believe I am correct, but you may have other totally different means. That is my dream. Directly--not something that just happens along the way in life. That gets me fired up.
I am now in Chapter 20 and the thought just came to me that no where do we see David's thoughts and feelings about Saul's trying to repeatedly kill him and the stress and fear of living under these horrible situations. Then there is a paragraph after David escaped his house to keep Saul's men from killing him. It says: "David made good his escape and went to Samuel at Ramah and told him everything Saul had done to him. Then he and Samuel withdrew to the privacy of Naioth."
So David finally reached out to the man who was his spiritual father. One he could trust and knew was wise. He opened up and told Samuel everything. I'm sure it had to be painfully emotional and intense. I'm sure all the fear, frustration, not understanding and anger came pouring out. He may have even been told things by Samuel that he just didn't want to hear or agree with. Then Samuel and David got off to themselves in private to talk, and again I'm sure, to pray to God. A time of openness, emotion, honesty and seeking God's answer by themselves in private. How wonderful to have that older, wiser mentor. We all need one. God will provide.
Later in chapter 20 is where Jonathan and David are designing a scheme as a sign for David to run, because Saul is truly trying and plotting to kill him (David). Even in all the mayhem, fear for life, anxiety, stress, confusion and frustration, Jonathan tells and reminds David, "Regarding all the things we've discussed, remember that God's in on this with us to the very end." A reminder to me Father. In all that's going on in my life right now, you are in this, and participating or leading it to the very end. Pretty amazing!
I am now reading Chip Ingram's book again, "Good to Great In God's Eyes!" A thought just came to me about Ingram's method of identifying a few people in which to invest my life. When I talk to people about working with them, I need to reveal to them who I truly am on the inside, not just my credentials, but my heart. I know you've said this may be foolishness to them, but that is who I am. I can use Ingram's method to explain myself to them. Faithful Available Teachable. Please show me how to do this Father. Give me insight and clarity. Guide my every word coming from my heart.
Another thought--now, right now, I have an opportunity for you to talk to me, prepare me, season me, mature me, ready me for what you want to accomplish later in my life. Whatever that is. I don't have the pressure of a daily business. I have time. I have money enough to pay our expenses. A great time for you to prepare and teach me. I need to allow that, emotionally, and stop trying to bring it to an end by getting employment. This is, and has been, a rich experience, while at the same time frustrating and fearful. But it is so obvious to me you are "in on this with us to the very end." Step back Robert, relax, let God free in your life and trust and enjoy!
You know what Father? I just recalled, I have had a dream all my adult life. Help people! Impact their lives. Be used by you to have a powerful impact on people's lives. Not indirectly, but directly. Be in a position where I could impart to them "stuff" from you, from life experiences, personal insights to impact their lives. I have wanted that in my career, business, working at church, everywhere. I admit my motivation may not be totally pure, but not all together wrong. I want to impact people's lives greatly, directly and as part of it through their minds. That is my dream. I believe that the most opportune place is in a teaching/mentoring setting. I still believe I am correct, but you may have other totally different means. That is my dream. Directly--not something that just happens along the way in life. That gets me fired up.
Back Home and Still Going
I'm back home now and though I don't have the setting of the mountains and being alone, the intimacy with God, for now continues. This morning I read chapters 16 and 17 of I Samuel. The themes continued from the weekend. As I read about Saul and David, it was primarily about David, I learned a lot about first being confident in you Father. And the motivating factor in what we work to achieve must always be your glory and for your praise. But also, I can be confident in me. I know that sounds wrong, but you gave me many talents and abilities. These abilities I have, gifts, talents you gave me are things inside of me for which I am very thankful. If I deny these and don't use them, I am really telling you that they don't matter and your gifts don't mean much to me. I know where they come from. You gave them to me. But I am responsible for developing them to the best of my ability to use for your glory. These gifts are part of what make me unique. You made me unique.
When David told Saul he would go up against Goliath and fight him, Saul loaded David down with armor and spears and all kinds of paraphernalia. This is what Saul said he needed for fighting and protection. David said he couldn't move and he couldn't fight this way. It just wasn't him. I was impressed with thoughts about how we go up against obstacles and Satan. Everyone is so willing to tell others what to do and how they should fight and what to use for protection. The reality of it is, you use and do what works for you because you are unique. Only God knows the best way for me. Now, he may tell me through others, and I always have to weigh that with his word and also my uniqueness. But even when he tells me in his word what to do and how, there is usually great latitude in adapting to the uniqueness of me.
This may sound like heresy, but I don't mean it that way. God and God's way is always the only right way. What I am saying is there is a way for me to do God's will in God's way that may be very different from others, because I am me. God's handiwork allows that. When I am told to gird myself with a belt and helmet, etc., the way I wear that belt may be different for me than for others. I'm probably being very confusing right now. That happens to me sometimes. The point is, God will make my defenses customized to me in application and I should listen to him, not always at the whim of everyone else.
Father, I was also impressed today in my reading about "Don't Be Afraid." You keep driving that home. "Don't Be Afraid." I realized that I cannot make good decisions, move forward, stay focused, or be productive if I am consistently afraid and fearful. Fear is immobilizing, energy zapping and totally non-productive. You keep driving this home to me and I thank you. Please continue until I get it and it changes me. I am light-hearted again and laugh easily. Until my mind is clear and can focus like a laser on what is important, "Don't Be Afraid." Thank you Father!
When David told Saul he would go up against Goliath and fight him, Saul loaded David down with armor and spears and all kinds of paraphernalia. This is what Saul said he needed for fighting and protection. David said he couldn't move and he couldn't fight this way. It just wasn't him. I was impressed with thoughts about how we go up against obstacles and Satan. Everyone is so willing to tell others what to do and how they should fight and what to use for protection. The reality of it is, you use and do what works for you because you are unique. Only God knows the best way for me. Now, he may tell me through others, and I always have to weigh that with his word and also my uniqueness. But even when he tells me in his word what to do and how, there is usually great latitude in adapting to the uniqueness of me.
This may sound like heresy, but I don't mean it that way. God and God's way is always the only right way. What I am saying is there is a way for me to do God's will in God's way that may be very different from others, because I am me. God's handiwork allows that. When I am told to gird myself with a belt and helmet, etc., the way I wear that belt may be different for me than for others. I'm probably being very confusing right now. That happens to me sometimes. The point is, God will make my defenses customized to me in application and I should listen to him, not always at the whim of everyone else.
Father, I was also impressed today in my reading about "Don't Be Afraid." You keep driving that home. "Don't Be Afraid." I realized that I cannot make good decisions, move forward, stay focused, or be productive if I am consistently afraid and fearful. Fear is immobilizing, energy zapping and totally non-productive. You keep driving this home to me and I thank you. Please continue until I get it and it changes me. I am light-hearted again and laugh easily. Until my mind is clear and can focus like a laser on what is important, "Don't Be Afraid." Thank you Father!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
The Real Thing
Cumberland Falls - 9:10 a.m.
I spent the morning hiking the trails to and from the Falls and my cabin. It had turned warm. The sky was blue. What a glorious morning. When I was almost at the end of the trail, I just sat down and talked to God out loud. It was great. It was the first time I had spoken audibly, since I arrived. I talked to God about what I had read the previous evening and about the impressions I had during the weekend. I had awakened at 7:30 a.m. and began reading I Samuel. There is so much you have said to me this weekend Father. Even reading I Samuel it didn't stop. The themes from the weekend keep being driven home to me. I am absolutely certain this weekend was God ordained. Through your Word, Chip Ingram's book, and the biography you spoke to me loudly and clearly.
I'm a little afraid of going back home. I'm afraid I'll lose the closeness with you, the intimacy. I'm afraid I'll forget. But I also know that I'm to take what I've learned and let it be expressed in relationships and in the world I'm in. I do ask that it not end! I'm the one who will decide that, I know. I can only hope I won't. I want my life to be like Samuel's. "Everyone in Israel...recognized Samuel was the real thing." Father, thank you for this weekend. Only time will tell how much my life has been changed. You are God and that's just the way it is.
I spent the morning hiking the trails to and from the Falls and my cabin. It had turned warm. The sky was blue. What a glorious morning. When I was almost at the end of the trail, I just sat down and talked to God out loud. It was great. It was the first time I had spoken audibly, since I arrived. I talked to God about what I had read the previous evening and about the impressions I had during the weekend. I had awakened at 7:30 a.m. and began reading I Samuel. There is so much you have said to me this weekend Father. Even reading I Samuel it didn't stop. The themes from the weekend keep being driven home to me. I am absolutely certain this weekend was God ordained. Through your Word, Chip Ingram's book, and the biography you spoke to me loudly and clearly.
I'm a little afraid of going back home. I'm afraid I'll lose the closeness with you, the intimacy. I'm afraid I'll forget. But I also know that I'm to take what I've learned and let it be expressed in relationships and in the world I'm in. I do ask that it not end! I'm the one who will decide that, I know. I can only hope I won't. I want my life to be like Samuel's. "Everyone in Israel...recognized Samuel was the real thing." Father, thank you for this weekend. Only time will tell how much my life has been changed. You are God and that's just the way it is.
My Only Value
Cumberland Falls - 6:10 p.m.
I just finished reading "A Wolf At The Table." The young man tells us that for the first time in his life, he witnessed and felt a father's love for his son. I don't know that I ever really experienced that with my father. He needed me. He was proud of me in his own way. He was to some degree intimidated by me. But I never really experienced or felt his love. It could be that I didn't know what it was or what it felt like. How sad! But I have a Father who loves me completely and needs me for nothing. He loves me completely unconditionally, just the way I am. And I am very valuable to Him. That is all that matters to me!
I just finished reading "A Wolf At The Table." The young man tells us that for the first time in his life, he witnessed and felt a father's love for his son. I don't know that I ever really experienced that with my father. He needed me. He was proud of me in his own way. He was to some degree intimidated by me. But I never really experienced or felt his love. It could be that I didn't know what it was or what it felt like. How sad! But I have a Father who loves me completely and needs me for nothing. He loves me completely unconditionally, just the way I am. And I am very valuable to Him. That is all that matters to me!
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