I awoke early this morning around 4:30 a.m. and dozed off and on. I hate it when I start thinking negative thoughts and get fearful and anxious. I told myself over and over again as I lie there with these more intense negative thoughts going over and over in my head, that God is with me and will take care of us. I had lapsed back into a self-destructive way of thinking and I hate it when that happens.
Father, I just read in 1 Kings about Solomon and the wealth and glorious temple and palace he built. And about how he prayed in front of all Israel on his knees with hands raised dedicating it all to you. And then your response which said, "All I want from you is obedience, worship and devotion and also from Israel. If you do it, I'll continue to bless. If you don't I'll destroy all you built and scatter Israel." What a reminder that our, my, accomplishments and things I dedicate to you mean nothing if you don't have my heart and obedience. Father, you know I need income. There seems to be an opportunity with this consulting company. I have nothing else going. I see the large expenses keep coming in and our savings going down faster than I'd like. You know all this. I don't know the end or what we'll do in a few months. I only know you promised to take care of us. I see in your Word how you blessed the faithful with more than they had asked or hoped. I see people always having what they need when they need it. So maybe that's it. I have what I need right now. [Satan just tempted me by saying to me, yes, but God didn't provide that, you did.] Putting me in the lead and control. I don't want that Father. I know where the source is. That is you. When I call the recruiter today, I ask you that she'll have good news for me. More importantly, I ask that I'd be obedient to you and be faithful in my service to you. Please Father, take care of us. But like the football coach in the movie "Facing the Giants," but even if I don't get what I ask, I will be faithful. The joy of the Lord is my strength. I sent my son a letter yesterday with my journal writings. I ask that his heart would be tender and he will receive it in the right spirit. Please bless it Father and speak to him through the words.
Father, I love you. And I grow to love you more each day. Even when I go through hard times, I love you. I want to be obedient to your ways. To serve you faithfully with all my heart. Trusting you in all I am and do. Today Father, let it be full of love and joy. Rich in meaning. Pour myself into you and into others. Not be selfish and self-centered. Trusting you for everything. Don't be afraid. This seems to be my plague right now. Fear. And that does not come from you. Perfect love, your love, drives out fear, as I'm told in your Word. Dress me in your perfect love. That is all I see and know and feel.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
I Have to Have A God-Listening Heart
I'm back in May of 2008 again and resuming my telling of the journey I have been on for the past couple of years. What was nagging in my gut was the impending future of running out of the money I had set aside to live on and not knowing what was going to happen when it did. I had been talking to a company about becoming a consultant for them and everything looked so good. Interviews had gone extremely well. I had even flown to Denver to interview with some executives and gotten word that they wanted me to join their organization. All looked good. That had actually occurred in March, but so far only talk. Looking back on it now, I can see that God had something totally different in store. But then, not a clue. There was only me and an unsure future. So back to May:
I am alone here in the house. It is early. The house is quiet. My wife had just left for work. I started reading The Books of Kings in the Bible this morning. King David has died and Solomon, his son, is the new king. Eugene Peterson says in his introduction:
"...the Hebrew demand of God to have a king was about the worst thing they could have asked for...In the midst of the incredible mess those kings are making of God's purposes, God continues to work his purposes...The rule is worked from within, much of the time invisible and unnoticed, but always patiently and resolutely there."
You are not hindered and thwarted in accomplishing what you want God. I cannot stop you with my disobedience and poor choices in my life, nor anyone in the world. Man is nothing. They think they are with all their intelligence and wealth. But we are nothing. Your desires, your way, what you want will be accomplished no matter what. When you asked Solomon what he wanted and you would give it to him, his request was:
"...here I am God, my God, you have made me, your servant, ruler of the kingdom...I'm too young for this, a mere child!...And here I am, set down in the middle...Here's what I want: Give me a God-listening heart...For who on their own is capable...?"
And your response was such pleasure with Solomon's request. You promised him what he asked plus all the wealth and power he didn't ask for. Then you said:
"...if you stay on course, keeping your eye on the life-map and the God-signs as your father David did, I'll also give you a long life."
Father, I don't pretend to be Solomon, but I see where the desire of my heart must first be a "God-listening heart." Abiding in you no matter what goes on around me or where it leads. Humbly seeking to do what you want. Listening to your Spirit as you guide me. All in my life will be an opportunity for learning and growth as I surrender myself to your use and will. Whatever that may be, wherever it leads, my first desire. In the beginning of The Book of Kings it says "Solomon loved God." I love you Father. I awoke this morning with a phrase going over in my head "Strength will rise as we wait upon the lord. We will wait upon the Lord, wait upon the Lord." You're telling me to trust you and wait for you to lead, work, show me, work out your will. And while that is going on, I will have strength growing from inside. I will become stronger for anything you want me to be and do. I want a "God-listening heart."
I am alone here in the house. It is early. The house is quiet. My wife had just left for work. I started reading The Books of Kings in the Bible this morning. King David has died and Solomon, his son, is the new king. Eugene Peterson says in his introduction:
"...the Hebrew demand of God to have a king was about the worst thing they could have asked for...In the midst of the incredible mess those kings are making of God's purposes, God continues to work his purposes...The rule is worked from within, much of the time invisible and unnoticed, but always patiently and resolutely there."
You are not hindered and thwarted in accomplishing what you want God. I cannot stop you with my disobedience and poor choices in my life, nor anyone in the world. Man is nothing. They think they are with all their intelligence and wealth. But we are nothing. Your desires, your way, what you want will be accomplished no matter what. When you asked Solomon what he wanted and you would give it to him, his request was:
"...here I am God, my God, you have made me, your servant, ruler of the kingdom...I'm too young for this, a mere child!...And here I am, set down in the middle...Here's what I want: Give me a God-listening heart...For who on their own is capable...?"
And your response was such pleasure with Solomon's request. You promised him what he asked plus all the wealth and power he didn't ask for. Then you said:
"...if you stay on course, keeping your eye on the life-map and the God-signs as your father David did, I'll also give you a long life."
Father, I don't pretend to be Solomon, but I see where the desire of my heart must first be a "God-listening heart." Abiding in you no matter what goes on around me or where it leads. Humbly seeking to do what you want. Listening to your Spirit as you guide me. All in my life will be an opportunity for learning and growth as I surrender myself to your use and will. Whatever that may be, wherever it leads, my first desire. In the beginning of The Book of Kings it says "Solomon loved God." I love you Father. I awoke this morning with a phrase going over in my head "Strength will rise as we wait upon the lord. We will wait upon the Lord, wait upon the Lord." You're telling me to trust you and wait for you to lead, work, show me, work out your will. And while that is going on, I will have strength growing from inside. I will become stronger for anything you want me to be and do. I want a "God-listening heart."
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Cruciform Love in the Here and Now
I just finished reading a book entitled "Broken Down House" by Paul Tripp. In this book there is a chapter on determining to love as Christ modeled. At the end of this chapter Tripp talks about how we as Christians must love with a "cross-shaped love." He gives in very functional and practical terms what it means to be committed to being an instrument of "cross-shaped love." They are too good and, oh my, so indicting that I can't help but share them. As you read, examine your heart and life. I did, and I am ashamed and shocked at how far short I fall from what God wants of me in my love. Here they are:
It means not keeping yourself so busy with you and yours that you have no practical time to love others.
It means being committed to knowing people, because you can minister only in very limited ways to those whom you do not know.
It means being willing to have your life complicated by the needs and struggles of others.
It means being willing to share your physical resources with others.
It means being willing to live with an open home.
It means being perseverant and patient even when the love you give is not returned.
It means actively looking for places where you can function as one of God's tools of love
It means resisting the temptation to be judgmental, self-righteous, and critical.
It means overlooking minor offenses and fighting the temptation to become bitter or cynical.
It means making life decisions out of a recognition of this inescapable call to love.
It means being lovingly and humbly honest in moments of misunderstanding more committed to reconciliation than to being right.
It means admitting that you are still learning to love as you have been loved.
It means being willing to own up to your sin and admit your faults.
It means not judging the success of your life by the size of your house or bank account, or by the quality of your car, but by the quality of your love for God and others.
It means regularly examining the motivations, desires, and thoughts of your heart in the mirror of God's Word.
It means moving beyond simply surrounding yourself with people whom you find comfortable and likeable.
It means being a student of God's Word, a joyful participant in the means of grace, and a committed participant in the fellowship of the body of Christ, so that the love you offer others may be increasingly pure and mature.
It means being willing to be misunderstood, mistreated, and misrepresented for the sake of incarnating Christ's love.
It means overcoming evil with good.
It means not letting race, social class, gender, age, or ethnicity get in the way of a biblical call to Christlike love.
It means being willing to have your schedule and plans interrupted or altered.
It means paying attention to the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of the people God puts in your path, and looking for ways to help them bear these burdens.
It means believing that God will not call you to a task without giving you what you need to accomplish it.
It means being willing to get up earlier and stay up later.
It means learning the details about someone's struggle so that you can love wisely, while at the same time guarding the reputation of the person you are loving.
It means weeping with the one who weeps and rejoicing with the one who rejoices.
It means being willing to endure tense and uncomfortable situations lovingly.
It means not allowing yourself plausible excuses that seemingly free you from love's call.
It means making a commitment to being a faithful friend.
It means being willing to take on big things, even as you humbly admit your limits.
It means keeping your promises and being faithful to your word.
It means being open to correction, loving criticism, and godly rebuke.
It means believing in the body of Christ and recognizing that you are but one of the tools in God's big toolbox of redemption.
It means being open to counsel and receptive to advice.
It means being willing to go to bed tired and to awake to another day of calling.
It means hiding God's Word in your heart and keeping his Kingdom always before your eyes.
It means refusing to become anyone's substitute messiah, but instead to point people to the presence and grace of Jesus.
It really does mean looking out not only for your own interests, but also for the interests of others.
It means building relationships, not just for the purpose of being relationally comfortable, but so that those relationships would be a workroom for redemption.
It means loving people in such a way that they never feel like they are in debt to you.
It means remembering that you are more like than unlike the people you are called to love.
It means understanding that the call to love is a call to both word and deed.
It means daily remembering Jesus, being in awe of the gift of his love, and living thankfully.
It means not keeping yourself so busy with you and yours that you have no practical time to love others.
It means being committed to knowing people, because you can minister only in very limited ways to those whom you do not know.
It means being willing to have your life complicated by the needs and struggles of others.
It means being willing to share your physical resources with others.
It means being willing to live with an open home.
It means being perseverant and patient even when the love you give is not returned.
It means actively looking for places where you can function as one of God's tools of love
It means resisting the temptation to be judgmental, self-righteous, and critical.
It means overlooking minor offenses and fighting the temptation to become bitter or cynical.
It means making life decisions out of a recognition of this inescapable call to love.
It means being lovingly and humbly honest in moments of misunderstanding more committed to reconciliation than to being right.
It means admitting that you are still learning to love as you have been loved.
It means being willing to own up to your sin and admit your faults.
It means not judging the success of your life by the size of your house or bank account, or by the quality of your car, but by the quality of your love for God and others.
It means regularly examining the motivations, desires, and thoughts of your heart in the mirror of God's Word.
It means moving beyond simply surrounding yourself with people whom you find comfortable and likeable.
It means being a student of God's Word, a joyful participant in the means of grace, and a committed participant in the fellowship of the body of Christ, so that the love you offer others may be increasingly pure and mature.
It means being willing to be misunderstood, mistreated, and misrepresented for the sake of incarnating Christ's love.
It means overcoming evil with good.
It means not letting race, social class, gender, age, or ethnicity get in the way of a biblical call to Christlike love.
It means being willing to have your schedule and plans interrupted or altered.
It means paying attention to the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of the people God puts in your path, and looking for ways to help them bear these burdens.
It means believing that God will not call you to a task without giving you what you need to accomplish it.
It means being willing to get up earlier and stay up later.
It means learning the details about someone's struggle so that you can love wisely, while at the same time guarding the reputation of the person you are loving.
It means weeping with the one who weeps and rejoicing with the one who rejoices.
It means being willing to endure tense and uncomfortable situations lovingly.
It means not allowing yourself plausible excuses that seemingly free you from love's call.
It means making a commitment to being a faithful friend.
It means being willing to take on big things, even as you humbly admit your limits.
It means keeping your promises and being faithful to your word.
It means being open to correction, loving criticism, and godly rebuke.
It means believing in the body of Christ and recognizing that you are but one of the tools in God's big toolbox of redemption.
It means being open to counsel and receptive to advice.
It means being willing to go to bed tired and to awake to another day of calling.
It means hiding God's Word in your heart and keeping his Kingdom always before your eyes.
It means refusing to become anyone's substitute messiah, but instead to point people to the presence and grace of Jesus.
It really does mean looking out not only for your own interests, but also for the interests of others.
It means building relationships, not just for the purpose of being relationally comfortable, but so that those relationships would be a workroom for redemption.
It means loving people in such a way that they never feel like they are in debt to you.
It means remembering that you are more like than unlike the people you are called to love.
It means understanding that the call to love is a call to both word and deed.
It means daily remembering Jesus, being in awe of the gift of his love, and living thankfully.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Open the Book of My Heart to God's Eyes
It is a beautiful morning. I'm at home sitting in the library at my favorite place by the window, looking out over the country lane. How blue, green and bright everything looks. My wife has left for work so I am alone. The house is quiet and I am reflecting with my Father. I just finished reading 2 Samuel.
Father, there are several things in these passages I really don't understand, but there are so many more that I do and are extremely important. David's song to you speaks to me also and for me. I know how he feels. How real and beautiful it is. David says you tested him. Some horrible things happened. There were some really stupid, disobedient things David did that caused great harm not only to him but to so many other people. And you severely punished David for them. But, oh, how you loved him.
Father, where am I going? What's happening in my life? You alone know the future, I certainly don't. I've laid it all before you as much as I know how and asked you to direct my paths. And I'm trusting in you that where it goes or whatever happens, it will be what you want and I'll follow in faith and trust.
One of the passages I read says:
"God made my life complete
when I placed all the pieces before him.
When I cleaned up my act
he gave me a fresh start....
I feel put back together,
and I'm watching my step.
God rewrote the text of my life
when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes."
That's the way I feel, Father. You did that for me. But first, before you could do anything, I had to open "the book of my heart to [your] eyes." It took a really long time, much pain, suffering, hard times, humiliation, and anger. But you kept at me. And even though I know it still continues and will continue, I can look back and see it. I can say along with David, "I feel put back together."
Hallelujah! To the Lord of Heaven and Earth!
Father, there are several things in these passages I really don't understand, but there are so many more that I do and are extremely important. David's song to you speaks to me also and for me. I know how he feels. How real and beautiful it is. David says you tested him. Some horrible things happened. There were some really stupid, disobedient things David did that caused great harm not only to him but to so many other people. And you severely punished David for them. But, oh, how you loved him.
Father, where am I going? What's happening in my life? You alone know the future, I certainly don't. I've laid it all before you as much as I know how and asked you to direct my paths. And I'm trusting in you that where it goes or whatever happens, it will be what you want and I'll follow in faith and trust.
One of the passages I read says:
"God made my life complete
when I placed all the pieces before him.
When I cleaned up my act
he gave me a fresh start....
I feel put back together,
and I'm watching my step.
God rewrote the text of my life
when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes."
That's the way I feel, Father. You did that for me. But first, before you could do anything, I had to open "the book of my heart to [your] eyes." It took a really long time, much pain, suffering, hard times, humiliation, and anger. But you kept at me. And even though I know it still continues and will continue, I can look back and see it. I can say along with David, "I feel put back together."
Hallelujah! To the Lord of Heaven and Earth!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
God Undoes what the World Does
It is utterly amazing to me how one can change so dramatically in so quick a time. One week ago I was tenuous and telling you Father how desperate I was and how I found it so hard to be what you want me to be. Not that I've arrived, but my whole attitude, spirit and will are different. Aren't we just such fickle people? I really don't understand myself most of the time. But regardless, I am at a wonderful place right now. I don't know what tomorrow holds or even how I'll be tomorrow, but today, I'm with you.
Father, my God! How wonderful you are. your power of influence and conviction is beyond anyone. The way you change hearts and convict is beyond belief. If it were not for my own experience, I would be credulous. Your sweep of ownership extends infinitely. There was no beginning for you. There is no end. Man and creation may try to best you, reduce you, control you, but it cannot be done. We are nothing but small-minded nothings thinking we're intelligent and powerful. But only what you allow.
My God! With all of this, to be able to call you my Father is beyond amazing. You are God! And that's just the way it is. Thank you Father for what you have done in my life. How you have grown me to be the man you desire for me. To undo what life and bad experiences have done to me. Thank you for the Word through the Bible. The power of it has to change people. Thank you for these stories of real people and real events and your leading in their lives, whether they knew it or not. Thank you for showing us how we live, still today, and what can be expected from it, good or bad. Thank you for showing us how involved you are in all aspects of life, regardless of our acknowledgment. Thank you for showing that man has no control over you and in this world you win, and we think we have such power and control.
I say it this way because in everything, in your world, there is no battle, winner, loser. There is only you and everything is powered by you. It is how things are and life, ways of life, are like you and powered by you in complete freedom. There is no comparison of anything else. This "way", your way, can begin on this earth, surely with spits and starts, but it can. It is your kingdom on this earth. We live here, becoming increasingly more like you and living in your world and being in your world and little by little being more comfortable with it. Of course we rebel almost all the time. But you know, it doesn't matter. We're the ones who suffer and have a hard life. You don't change. It is totally our choice. Oh, how stupid we are. The one thing that will never, ever change and is all powerful, we think we have some say so over it. The only choice we make is to decide whether we want to do it your way or not. And if we don't, we're always the one to suffer for it. Always!
We are transported from this earthbound world to your Spirit world when You are acknowledged. This acknowledgment is the key to opening that door into your Spirit world. The permission to walk through that door is the death, blood and resurrection of the man Jesus the Christ. Your entire being formed into this man. You provided the key. You are the key. You provided it yourself. It is your invitation to join you in your Spirit world. That alone is the real world, infinitely. Always was and always will be. Another dimension into which we can enter by accepting the invitation of Jesus the Christ, who paid the entrance fee. All else here on earth is a distraction from your world. Satan set it up to rob you of me and all others from you, if we don't choose you over him.
All is going according to your plan. When you look at this eternal life that is all around me, what really do you have to lose by being counter-world? Nothing! It's already lost. I don't live in it any more. Only my body is here. My soul and spirit have already entered into your eternal world, the other dimension, the real dimension. This earth is really an add on, created out of love by you for man's enjoyment. Because purity is all that can be tolerated by you and can live in the true eternal dimension, man had to be free to choose when presented with an option. We could not be coerced or without choice. That would not be pure. That is why we really don't need to be so focused on Satan in our lives. We have already been freed from him. We are pure, because we made the choice, not by anything we have done, but by what you have done. We just have to choose you and believe.
From a spiritual, eternal God dimension, absolutely nothing will happen to us. It is only earthly, human results of our sin and yielding to the temptations of Satan. I do not need to be afraid. Satan cannot touch me. You cover and protect me if I'll let you on earth. My dwelling place is not here. I live, already live, with you in your infinite eternal dimension, home! I'm just confined and bound in this flesh body and constrained by the limitations of earth. That is why you have grace extended. This is temporary. It is your way of saying, "Don't worry, you're with me in my dimension, living with me for eternity. You're already here! Your soul, your spirit are mine right now. So don't get so hung up by failures on that earth. You are only there for a short period. Continue transforming into my world, my dimension, my way. You'll be so much better off."
"And then when your body dies, you won't be bound any more. Your life will blossom into what I longed for all along. But understand, you are here with me now! That is so important for you to believe and understand. Because of that, you won't worry about things on earth, just accept them and move on. Its only temporary. Who really cares? As long as you continually take on my life and learn how to live in my dimension, eternity, you won't have any problems. I'll take care of everything. I do now. I am God! I rule eternity."
"You live in my world today with me, because Jesus the Christ paid your admission fee. And when he offered it to you, you accepted it. Have fun, enjoy your life, continue to learn how to live in my dimension, because it is really the only one. All else is fake. I'll teach you, show you the ropes, and even change you as you live. This is your world. Welcome to it!" John 6:61-64a; 16:33
Father, my God! How wonderful you are. your power of influence and conviction is beyond anyone. The way you change hearts and convict is beyond belief. If it were not for my own experience, I would be credulous. Your sweep of ownership extends infinitely. There was no beginning for you. There is no end. Man and creation may try to best you, reduce you, control you, but it cannot be done. We are nothing but small-minded nothings thinking we're intelligent and powerful. But only what you allow.
My God! With all of this, to be able to call you my Father is beyond amazing. You are God! And that's just the way it is. Thank you Father for what you have done in my life. How you have grown me to be the man you desire for me. To undo what life and bad experiences have done to me. Thank you for the Word through the Bible. The power of it has to change people. Thank you for these stories of real people and real events and your leading in their lives, whether they knew it or not. Thank you for showing us how we live, still today, and what can be expected from it, good or bad. Thank you for showing us how involved you are in all aspects of life, regardless of our acknowledgment. Thank you for showing that man has no control over you and in this world you win, and we think we have such power and control.
I say it this way because in everything, in your world, there is no battle, winner, loser. There is only you and everything is powered by you. It is how things are and life, ways of life, are like you and powered by you in complete freedom. There is no comparison of anything else. This "way", your way, can begin on this earth, surely with spits and starts, but it can. It is your kingdom on this earth. We live here, becoming increasingly more like you and living in your world and being in your world and little by little being more comfortable with it. Of course we rebel almost all the time. But you know, it doesn't matter. We're the ones who suffer and have a hard life. You don't change. It is totally our choice. Oh, how stupid we are. The one thing that will never, ever change and is all powerful, we think we have some say so over it. The only choice we make is to decide whether we want to do it your way or not. And if we don't, we're always the one to suffer for it. Always!
We are transported from this earthbound world to your Spirit world when You are acknowledged. This acknowledgment is the key to opening that door into your Spirit world. The permission to walk through that door is the death, blood and resurrection of the man Jesus the Christ. Your entire being formed into this man. You provided the key. You are the key. You provided it yourself. It is your invitation to join you in your Spirit world. That alone is the real world, infinitely. Always was and always will be. Another dimension into which we can enter by accepting the invitation of Jesus the Christ, who paid the entrance fee. All else here on earth is a distraction from your world. Satan set it up to rob you of me and all others from you, if we don't choose you over him.
All is going according to your plan. When you look at this eternal life that is all around me, what really do you have to lose by being counter-world? Nothing! It's already lost. I don't live in it any more. Only my body is here. My soul and spirit have already entered into your eternal world, the other dimension, the real dimension. This earth is really an add on, created out of love by you for man's enjoyment. Because purity is all that can be tolerated by you and can live in the true eternal dimension, man had to be free to choose when presented with an option. We could not be coerced or without choice. That would not be pure. That is why we really don't need to be so focused on Satan in our lives. We have already been freed from him. We are pure, because we made the choice, not by anything we have done, but by what you have done. We just have to choose you and believe.
From a spiritual, eternal God dimension, absolutely nothing will happen to us. It is only earthly, human results of our sin and yielding to the temptations of Satan. I do not need to be afraid. Satan cannot touch me. You cover and protect me if I'll let you on earth. My dwelling place is not here. I live, already live, with you in your infinite eternal dimension, home! I'm just confined and bound in this flesh body and constrained by the limitations of earth. That is why you have grace extended. This is temporary. It is your way of saying, "Don't worry, you're with me in my dimension, living with me for eternity. You're already here! Your soul, your spirit are mine right now. So don't get so hung up by failures on that earth. You are only there for a short period. Continue transforming into my world, my dimension, my way. You'll be so much better off."
"And then when your body dies, you won't be bound any more. Your life will blossom into what I longed for all along. But understand, you are here with me now! That is so important for you to believe and understand. Because of that, you won't worry about things on earth, just accept them and move on. Its only temporary. Who really cares? As long as you continually take on my life and learn how to live in my dimension, eternity, you won't have any problems. I'll take care of everything. I do now. I am God! I rule eternity."
"You live in my world today with me, because Jesus the Christ paid your admission fee. And when he offered it to you, you accepted it. Have fun, enjoy your life, continue to learn how to live in my dimension, because it is really the only one. All else is fake. I'll teach you, show you the ropes, and even change you as you live. This is your world. Welcome to it!" John 6:61-64a; 16:33
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Intimacy of God with Me
Chapters 28-31 of I Samuel in the Bible are classic examples of events unfolding on the earth, everyday, intimate events and people not knowing why and seeing inequities, being frustrated, fearful and not know you Father are directing it the whole time. What a lesson I need to learn. It is so hard. I wonder if there is a reason why I read what I did this morning, possibly? But overall I have to trust you that you are in control of not only my life, but all events of the world, great and small.
Father, it is still hard on me to not be disappointed and fearful. So hard. But I am getting better. You give. You take away. You raise people up. You take them down. You control everything. Nothing happens that you aren't aware of. You know everything about me to how many hairs are on my head (now for me that may not be hard). A bird doesn't fall from the sky that you don't know about it. How intimate and involved is that?
Father, you know how I need income. You know I can't afford to keep this house after a period of time. You know it would be really hard to sell it at this time. So I have to trust you. Strengthen me Father. Give me a strong, solid, firm foundation of faith and trust. Not wavering. Not turning to you in time of need, but a continuous trust in my life.
I don't want to be a person who turns to you. I want you to be ever-present in my life with a free, smooth-flowing dependence on you. No different in time of need than in time of plenty. My reliance and relationship should be the same. Even when I say I "turn" to you, that implies I wasn't going in your direction, or you aren't in me as one. And I don't want that.
David is a great example: David and his men returned to their city after losing an intense battle with many dead, being disappointed and frustrated with what they thought was doing the right thing and doing what they do best. Upon return, their city had been burned, destroyed, all their wealth gone, and their families captured and gone as well. They were in intense emotional pain. The Bible says "...David and his men burst out in loud wails...wept and wept until they were exhausted with weeping...Suddenly David was in even worse trouble..There was talk among the men, bitter over the loss of their families, of stoning him...David strengthened himself with trust in his God...David prayed to God, 'Shall I go after these raiders? Can I catch them?'...The answer came!"
What? Wait a minute! Now, wait a minute Father! This is huge for me! This is a no-brainer. Of course you go after them. Why in the world would one ever stop and ask that question of you Father? But he did! He stopped and talked to you about it! Amazing! Why? Why stop and ask you? Huge lesson! David didn't turn to you--it just says, "David strengthened himself." And he did this by having a conversation with you.
I am amazed at the level of intimacy David had with you. Even after failing at leadership, seeing men he loved and for which he had responsibility killed because of his decision. After seeing his city destroyed because of what he believed to be the right thing to do. After losing his family and all the men in his charge experiencing this intense loss as well, he asked you if he should go after the marauders, the enemy, and will he catch them. It flowed. It wasn't an emotional battle and difficult. It was just like breathing. Your answer, your input, your guidance, your strength was his first thought. I am amazed at this level of intimacy with you. You truly were in his life and his life was in yours. I am amazed. Oh Father, how I want that level of intimacy with you.
Father, it is still hard on me to not be disappointed and fearful. So hard. But I am getting better. You give. You take away. You raise people up. You take them down. You control everything. Nothing happens that you aren't aware of. You know everything about me to how many hairs are on my head (now for me that may not be hard). A bird doesn't fall from the sky that you don't know about it. How intimate and involved is that?
Father, you know how I need income. You know I can't afford to keep this house after a period of time. You know it would be really hard to sell it at this time. So I have to trust you. Strengthen me Father. Give me a strong, solid, firm foundation of faith and trust. Not wavering. Not turning to you in time of need, but a continuous trust in my life.
I don't want to be a person who turns to you. I want you to be ever-present in my life with a free, smooth-flowing dependence on you. No different in time of need than in time of plenty. My reliance and relationship should be the same. Even when I say I "turn" to you, that implies I wasn't going in your direction, or you aren't in me as one. And I don't want that.
David is a great example: David and his men returned to their city after losing an intense battle with many dead, being disappointed and frustrated with what they thought was doing the right thing and doing what they do best. Upon return, their city had been burned, destroyed, all their wealth gone, and their families captured and gone as well. They were in intense emotional pain. The Bible says "...David and his men burst out in loud wails...wept and wept until they were exhausted with weeping...Suddenly David was in even worse trouble..There was talk among the men, bitter over the loss of their families, of stoning him...David strengthened himself with trust in his God...David prayed to God, 'Shall I go after these raiders? Can I catch them?'...The answer came!"
What? Wait a minute! Now, wait a minute Father! This is huge for me! This is a no-brainer. Of course you go after them. Why in the world would one ever stop and ask that question of you Father? But he did! He stopped and talked to you about it! Amazing! Why? Why stop and ask you? Huge lesson! David didn't turn to you--it just says, "David strengthened himself." And he did this by having a conversation with you.
I am amazed at the level of intimacy David had with you. Even after failing at leadership, seeing men he loved and for which he had responsibility killed because of his decision. After seeing his city destroyed because of what he believed to be the right thing to do. After losing his family and all the men in his charge experiencing this intense loss as well, he asked you if he should go after the marauders, the enemy, and will he catch them. It flowed. It wasn't an emotional battle and difficult. It was just like breathing. Your answer, your input, your guidance, your strength was his first thought. I am amazed at this level of intimacy with you. You truly were in his life and his life was in yours. I am amazed. Oh Father, how I want that level of intimacy with you.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
God's World
Coming back to the present for just a bit. I had to get this down because it just keeps nagging me and I mean that in an exceptionally good way. I awoke this morning about 4:30 a.m. and knew there just was no more sleep in me. I came into the library and began reading the Bible from The Message. I read the book of Ruth and then read the introduction to 1 Samuel. I love Eugene Peterson's introductions to the books in the Bible. I get so much insight from them. Well, in his introduction to 1 Samuel it really spoke to me, because it was just where my thoughts and heart were last night, again. I think God is speaking to me and trying really hard to get my attention on this matter. It just keeps recurring at different times and in different situations.
Here are the statements Peterson makes that really spoke to my mind and my heart:
The question keeps coming back to me, "Why would I do all the things God asks or commands me to do? It can't be just to do the right thing, although that is good in a smaller context. But ultimately, it is really larger than that. God's world, spirit, is where the truth is. Even saying that limits it. In God's world there is no truth. By saying truth it lays out that there must be false. And that is not in God's world. We only have to set this truth/false concept up and do this in our world (human).
God wants me to live in that world, his world. Transcend human, so to speak, and live there, spirit. That's what Jesus did. Humanness was an encumbrance and a limitation. It was and is a prevention or deterrent to truly living in God's world. But nonetheless a world in which God wants me to live. All the revelation, stories and instruction in the Bible are to get me there.
This realization is the 'transforming' that Paul talks about. It's not just changing our lives so we can live better in this world. In fact we are told the opposite. The more we transform our lives into God's spirit world, the harder it will be on us in this world. But, the more peaceful and settled we will be in our heart, because our hearts will be less at war with God and the spirit.
The transforming of our lives is transcending us out of the human world and more into God's spirit world where he wants me to be. That transformation is the key to unlocking the doors and allowing us in, incrementally, little by little, to God's world, the true world and the eternal world. This is where we are headed ultimately, because of Jesus' work on the cross, his resurrection and our acceptance of it. But God doesn't want to wait for that. He wants us to transformationally move more to his world in our living each day until our bodies die or Jesus comes again.
Oh my, how that gives meaning to our lives as we live on this earth, encumbered and limited by humanness. Romans 12:1-2 is the complete explanation of this. Two short verses that explain completely what God is all about, once we accept Jesus' work for us. This is huge for me. I mean huge. It is the answer for all time about God's relationship to those who accept his Son's work on this earth for us. The only answer.
I must, repeat must, look at God in this way. My perspective must be that of Christ: eternal, spiritual, his world looking into ours, not ours looking into God's. That will dramatically change my life.
Here are the statements Peterson makes that really spoke to my mind and my heart:
- We don't have to fit into prefabricated moral or mental or religious boxes before we are admitted into the company of God--we are taken seriously just as we are and given a place in his story, for it is, after all, his story.
- None of us is the leading character in the story of life.
- The biblical way is not so much to present a moral code and tell us "Live up to this...Think like this and you will live well."
- The biblical way is to tell a story and invite us, "Live into this. This is what it looks like to be human...This is what is involved in entering and maturing as human beings."
- We do violence to the biblical revelation when we use it for what we can get out of it or what we think will provide color and spice to our otherwise bland lives.
- That results in a kind of "boutique spirituality"--God as decoration, God as enhancement.
- ...we are not being led to see God in our stories, but to see our stories in God's.
- God is the larger context and plot in which our stories find themselves.
The question keeps coming back to me, "Why would I do all the things God asks or commands me to do? It can't be just to do the right thing, although that is good in a smaller context. But ultimately, it is really larger than that. God's world, spirit, is where the truth is. Even saying that limits it. In God's world there is no truth. By saying truth it lays out that there must be false. And that is not in God's world. We only have to set this truth/false concept up and do this in our world (human).
God wants me to live in that world, his world. Transcend human, so to speak, and live there, spirit. That's what Jesus did. Humanness was an encumbrance and a limitation. It was and is a prevention or deterrent to truly living in God's world. But nonetheless a world in which God wants me to live. All the revelation, stories and instruction in the Bible are to get me there.
This realization is the 'transforming' that Paul talks about. It's not just changing our lives so we can live better in this world. In fact we are told the opposite. The more we transform our lives into God's spirit world, the harder it will be on us in this world. But, the more peaceful and settled we will be in our heart, because our hearts will be less at war with God and the spirit.
The transforming of our lives is transcending us out of the human world and more into God's spirit world where he wants me to be. That transformation is the key to unlocking the doors and allowing us in, incrementally, little by little, to God's world, the true world and the eternal world. This is where we are headed ultimately, because of Jesus' work on the cross, his resurrection and our acceptance of it. But God doesn't want to wait for that. He wants us to transformationally move more to his world in our living each day until our bodies die or Jesus comes again.
Oh my, how that gives meaning to our lives as we live on this earth, encumbered and limited by humanness. Romans 12:1-2 is the complete explanation of this. Two short verses that explain completely what God is all about, once we accept Jesus' work for us. This is huge for me. I mean huge. It is the answer for all time about God's relationship to those who accept his Son's work on this earth for us. The only answer.
I must, repeat must, look at God in this way. My perspective must be that of Christ: eternal, spiritual, his world looking into ours, not ours looking into God's. That will dramatically change my life.
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